Have You ever Doubted Yourself when You Know it Makes No Sense?

 

how self-doubt can ruin your performance if you let it

My wife, Joanne told me recently as she was getting ready to attend a class to update her qualification as a trainer and assessor that she was struck with disturbing feelings of self-doubt.

I know how easily for anyone,  if unchecked, that this can grow into fear, anxiety or even panic, possibly leading to an unreflective poor performance.

Jo described the gnawing beast of concern in her gut that stimulated that part of her brain that irrationally began to question her own competencies.

“What exactly did you think?” I asked.

“I began to wonder if this lady will start to ask me questions where I’ll stuff up the answers and then she’ll realise that I have no idea what I’m doing!”

 

 

 

I’d be surprised if irrational self-doubt hasn’t struck YOU at some point in YOUR life:  

  • the school assembly
  • the ‘show and tell’ to your primary school class
  • singing a song that you’ve sung a thousand times
  • handing in an assignment
  • chatting up a potential date
  • first day at a new job
  • thousandth day at your job
  • making a speech
  • the list is endless.

‘Imposter Syndrome’ strikes us when we know we CAN do something, yet we begin to doubt ourselves in an unreasonable manner. We start to imagine that we’ve been acting this whole time and that we are about to be exposed as a fraud.

I pointed out that this notion of being an imposter was a perfectly normal reaction to being put in the spotlight and asked her about the rave reviews she’d had from her students and from parents of teenagers whom she’d taught and influenced. All logical evidence reinforced the certain conclusion that not only does she love what she does, but that she is extremely good at doing it.

I’d like to think that my coaching ramblings have embedded themselves in Jo’s brain because she later regaled me with how she’d dealt with these feelings. Whilst driving to the appointment, she’d imagined the examiner to be an extremely friendly and helpful person who would quickly realise her passion for her calling and see past any nerves and know that she is great at what she does. Surprise, surprise – the creative visualisation worked a treat and that’s exactly how it went.

Banish self-doubt - believe in yourselfWhen we’re put in the spotlight and our abilities are questioned, our lizard brain can smash us by reminding us that we’re outside of the cave – the sanctuary known as the ‘comfort zone’. The lizard means well – she’s doing it to protect us from danger. She’s preparing us for the fight or the flight and she’s going to give us some adrenalin, so that we’re ready.

We calm the lizard by acknowledging her and thanking her for trying to keep us safe. That’s her job. Then we remind ourselves that out in the light is where we can really shine. We sense her concerns but still we put on our mask, we take centre stage and we act. The acting leads to confidence which leads to a performance. If you need some coping techniques, just give me a call via this site.

Life is a series of performances. Go forth and win your personal Oscar!

Jobs or Opportunities

Jobs or Opportunities

Jobs or Opportunities

The nature of work in today’s society has changed, probably forever. A human resources recruitment manager commented at a seminar that I attended a year or two ago that “Any job that you have in Perth these days is only as secure as a month’s notice.”

Now of course you can argue that there are exceptions. I’ve heard it said by many that it’s extremely difficult to be fired from a government job, short of committing murder, but even government departments have cutbacks and redundancies.

The point that this person was making is that the days of working somewhere your whole life and being presented with the gold watch to commemorate a lifetime of service, are over. Instead, we are judged far less on the basis of longevity in the role, but rather on results and on our career development initiatives.

My own sister recently had the experience of doing a government job on a short term contract. Towards the end of the contract she had to apply for the job she was already doing, believing she had a good chance of staying on as she had been commended by superiors for doing a good job. Someone from outside the organisation got the job, someone not only younger, but who had also gained extra qualifications. So even though they knew that my sister was already doing a good job, the interviewing committee were willing to replace her with someone who was an unknown quantity. To add insult to injury, my sister than had to train the incumbent to replace her. It wasn’t the girl’s fault, she said, so she did her best to train the lady as well as she could before leaving.

So how does this impact on our attitude towards the nature of employment as a concept?

Vocational training has improved

Vocational training has improved

One of the things that has impressed me is the improved nature of vocational training. It has become less about passing or failing, or what grade you got. Rather it has become about gaining competency and keeping ‘at it’ until you do. I’m generalising here, but it seems it has also become expected by employers that employees will actively seek to improve themselves and to gain new skills and knowledge so as to continue to remain more employable and to become a more valuable asset.

The most ironic twist is that whereas it used to be highly regarded and imply traits such as loyalty and reliability to stay at the same company throughout your career, it is now regarded by many employers and their recruitment managers as instead revealing traits like being unadventurous, unambitious, unwilling to learn new skills and knowledge or even risk-averse.

Therefore you could conclude that if you want to develop a career for yourself, YOU have to take responsibility for that development. You can no longer wait for the right boss to notice your good work and offer you a promotion. You have to be willing to make changes and to take risks. You have to learn how to market yourself as an asset to a potential employer.

Furthermore, if you have that extra bit of courage and are willing to take a leap of faith, there are even more opportunities than ever before to start or buy your own business. The risks of failure may be higher, but so are the rewards if you succeed. Here’s a thought though…

The risks of not doing something to promote yourself or to take charge of your own destiny are far greater.

'Knowledge is power' - but only if used!

‘Knowledge is power’ – but only if used!

Unless you seek new skills, knowledge and experience you will become the one they replace. Unless you build a resume to include a variety of positions and different experiences you may become obsolete.

If however, you look for ways of monetising your skills and knowledge, more than ever before, thanks to the improvements in communication and remote access via the internet, you can actually take that plunge and work for yourself, on your terms. The only thing stopping you, is YOU.

I’m a firm believer that every setback creates an even greater opportunity. Granted, sometimes that may not be immediately apparent, such as when you’ve just had your confidence knocked by being made redundant or told that your contract will not be renewed. With the benefit of hindsight however, or with the input of a business coach or life coach, that opportunity may soon become apparent.

As a Perth-based business coach myself, I have personally helped people who have been made redundant to start their own business and rise like a phoenix from the ashes, determined to prove their old boss wrong. As a life coach I’ve also helped people reassess their skills, knowledge and more importantly, their values. That can sometimes lead to a change in direction that is more in alignment with their sources of inspiration.

In the past some people would say, “I can’t risk that – what if it doesn’t work? How will I pay the bills?”

In today’s world of perhaps ‘four weeks’ notice’, is that question as relevant as it used to be?

Is this change in concepts a bad thing? I would answer, “No, it’s just a different thing”.

Do your best in every job or business - make every day a 'Win-Win'

Do your best in every job or business – make every day a ‘Win-Win’

Am I encouraging disloyalty? No, not at all. I’m saying that if you do a job for someone, do it as well as you possibly can. Be as good an employee as you possibly can – in fact, go the extra mile, do more than you are paid for (not to be confused with becoming a martyr!). I’m saying be professional and do your very best. Notch up some achievements in the role that are a win-win for you and your employer. One day you may need a reference. Who knows, you might even buy the company! While you are there, become an asset and learn new skills and knowledge. Read more and go on vocational courses.

If instead you take the leap of faith and start off in business, first do your homework. Ideally speak with a business coach, either call me or another coach that you know or who is recommended to you, but definitely seek advice and set it up properly from the start. That will increase your chances of success dramatically. Ideally, make sure you have some money saved as a fall back, in case your business takes a while to get going. If you can ease into it with a part-time job while you build it up, so much the better. It is always better to have more than one source of income in this brave new world.

A job may or may not be there waiting for you but opportunity is all around you. The questions are, “Are you noticing the opportunities and are you willing to take action towards achieving them?”

My closing thought to leave you to ponder today is, “How would you like your life to be and which job or business would best help you transform that vision into a reality?”

*****

I’m Tony Inman, a business and lifestyle coach and author who specialises in helping business owners and executives to be more successful and to lead happier and more fulfilling lives. If you’d like a chat about your situation, feel free to contact me via my website or by leaving me a message on (08) 9328 2203.

Tony Makes You Believe Everything Is Possible

Alysha Wearne“I met Tony 7 years ago on my first ever  journey to WA..

What an experience that year was..

Over time Tony not only became my boss but someone I admire, respect and someone who taught me life isn’t a struggle but something you grab by the balls and run with..

Tony and I share something a lot of people don’t and that’s not being afraid to try something different..

What makes family man Tony stand out is his love of life and sheer belief that with hard work EVERYTHING can be achieved and should be..

Tony has the knack to make you excited,  and makes you believe everything is possible..

This genuine man is by far the best!!
Alysha Wearne

Care-giver

Fun days - a 70's party!

Fun days – a 70’s party!

Tony’s Response: Thank you Alysha. I really appreciate your kind words and I’m very glad to have met you.

Your tenacity and forthright approach are traits I greatly admire and I look forward to hearing of your ongoing successes.

Best wishes,

Tony  😀

Alysha worked with us at a Perth-based tourism business that I owned for 14 years and was an enthusiastic, energetic and valued member of our team.

She formed many friendships with our global family and was well-liked and respected by thousands of customers.

The thing I have always loved the most about business is the people you meet during the journey- genuine people like Alysha!

Pictured here is a scene from a 70’s fancy dress party we held at our tourism business in January 2007.

Cleared to Final

Two of my favourite planes

Two of my favourite planes – Cessna 152 & Piper Warrior

After over two hours on my own, suspended in the tiny Cessna 152 training aircraft, navigating my way over the fields and railway lines of Normandy in north-western France, I was filled with nervous excitement when I spotted an airfield in the distance.

That airfield was Rennes airport and I had never seen it from the air or landed there before.

It was a defining moment in my life story because this was one of the final stages of gaining my Private Pilot’s Licence – a solo cross country flight, landing at Rennes and Dinard before returning to my home base of Jersey, the largest of the English Channel Islands.

For a nineteen year old I was quite mature and confident. In that same year I was promoted to a Deputy Store Manager in a supermarket with 23 staff. That was one thing, but flying solo at two thousand feet over the English Channel, map-reading my way down the French coast and finding an unfamiliar airstrip was quite another test of self-reliance altogether.

I contacted Rennes Air Traffic Control and was cleared to descend and join the circuit.

Although I was still a student pilot, my training had been thorough and I had picked things up quickly owing to a lifetime of affinity with aviation. In fact I had ‘gone solo’ one fine but grey afternoon on the grass airstrip at Lessay, after just nine hours of training – one of the most memorable moments of my life.

Flying solo for the first time had been another defining moment for me – that heart-pounding moment when the instructor says, “When you land this time, pull over on the side of the runway but keep the engine running.’
Then, said my instructor, John Pedley, ‘Ok mate, you’re ready. Just do one circuit, request a full stop this time, park it over there and I’ll see you in the bar. Enjoy yourself.’

Taking my parents to France for lunch

Taking my parents to France for lunch 1981

I was born with avgas in my blood. My father had joined the Air Force as a mechanical apprentice at fifteen and was fixing Spitfires on Malta, Sicily and in Egypt during the War, before a lengthy career as an aircraft engineer for British Airways in Jersey. My eldest brother became a commercial helicopter pilot, having served with the Army Air Corps, and my sister was a stewardess for British Airways. No wonder I loved assembling and painting model aircraft kits as a child.

When I was seventeen, Dad got me a summer holiday job at a small airline he had joined while in semi-retirement, called Intra Airways.

I had the joyful job of cleaning the aircraft on the turnaround between flights. I had felt important, driving support vehicles across the airport apron, putting locking pins in the undercarriage of the old Dakota DC 3’s, wiping oil off the engine cowlings and directing passengers which way to walk to the terminal building. The downside was in having to empty the bucket from the chemical toilet, but even that unsavoury task did not diminish the joy of working with my father and being ‘one of the guys’ at Jersey airport.

So on that July day in 1980, as I joined the downwind leg of the Rennes circuit and began my pre-landing checks, with my hands on the controls, I felt literally as free as a bird.

I think I had goose bumps as the tower controller said, ‘Golf Romeo November – you are clear to final.’

Before I knew it I was cleared to land. The wheels greased smoothly onto the bitumen and I taxied my plane to a parking spot in front of the control tower.

As I turned off the engine, I threw my hands in the air and yelled ‘YESSSSS!’

I think it was a little from nervous relief as it was from exhilaration. The concentration had been intense, realising that the only person I could count on to bring that plane down safely was me.

I had to have my log book stamped by Customs to prove I had been there, before flying on to Dinard, then back to Jersey.

When I gained my wings at the Channel Islands Aero Club in Jersey that Summer, I was very proud of the achievement.

Tony-flying-Rotto2007

Tony flying in WA

When I reflect on it though, a large part of my pride stems from the fact that it represented the realisation of a huge dream come true.

I had set the goal to obtain my licence; I had researched what I needed to do; I had sought the finance required – I took out a two thousand pound bank loan; I enrolled in the course; I studied the things I needed to study – navigation, meteorology, principles of flight, air law, radio procedures, airfield procedures, flight planning and much more.

I had made a commitment to myself and I saw it through, overcoming occasional fear and self-doubt, carried with the wind of desire and determination beneath my wings.

As a metaphor for life in general, it was a great testament to the power of a dream.

Sir Winston Churchill once remarked that, ‘Nothing can stop the totally committed will’ and I am a firm believer in his maxim.

If you decide that you really want something, and of course it fits with your ethical and moral values, then if you commit to its completion, and really apply yourself, you can overcome any obstacle, rise to the challenge and live the life of your dreams.

We are blessed to live in a free country, surrounded by resources at our disposal if we will but look and ask. We live in a place where the seemingly impossible can be made to happen, and the difficult – well that just serves to make the challenge worthwhile.

So I hope that you have not given up on your dreams and settled for less because opportunity is all around us.

I recommend that you encourage others as you yourself would like to be encouraged. The power of a good support team is not to be underestimated.

If you would like any help with defining your goals or planning their accomplishment, please feel free to contact me for a chat. I offer a free discovery session.

Life coaching, lifestyle consulting or whatever you prefer to call it, can help you rediscover the dreams and goals you may have filed in the ‘too hard basket’. What if, just maybe, you could still do them?

Do you dare to dream?

Until next time, may you live your life with passion!

Tony Inman

“My quality of life, confidence and skills have certainly improved” – Joanne Small, Perth WA

Joanne Small

Joanne Small – Recruitment Administrator, JHG Perth

“During the last six years Tony has been my career and life mentor.

He has encouraged and coached me to achieve two diplomas, successfully improve my career path and to confidently purchase two investment properties.

My quality of life, confidence and skills have certainly improved due to the patience, kindness and invaluable advice of this professional and inspirational man.”

 

Joanne Small – Recruitment Administrator, John Holland Group

 

If you would like to claim a free discovery session (valued at $150), call today on (08) 9328 2203 or contact Tony Inman- click here

Extremely Close – The Gap Between Failure and Success

Inspirational Video – Jeb Corliss – ‘Grinding the Crack’

Discover what Jeb means by ‘coming extremely close’ in this breathtaking video.

Where in your life are you just playing it safe?

Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting we all do what Jeb does!

I’m just asking you to notice that sometimes the fine margin between disaster and incredible success just requires us to have a little bit of self-belief!

For more information about success coaching, please click here.

Have a great day! 🙂

“He really cares about people…” – Halle Yilmaz, Melbourne, Victoria

image-withheld“You can have an open communication with Tony easily.

He really cares about people and he is committed to make a contribution to other people’s life and happiness.

He is a great life coach.”

 

Halle Yilmaz

Managing Director, HQ Business Consulting & HQ Financial Solutions, Melbourne

Empower Yourself or Be Overpowered

Dr John Demartini with Tony Inman

“Any area of your life you don’t empower, someone else will overpower you”. – Dr John Demartini

Dr Demartini is considered one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. He is the founder of the Demartini Institute, a private research and education organization with a curriculum of over 72 different courses covering multiple aspects of human development.

His trademarked methodologies, the Demartini Method and the Demartini Value Determination, are the culmination of 39 years of cross-disciplinary research and study. His work has been  incorporated into  human development industries across the world.

Dr Demartini travels 360 days a year to countries all over the globe,  sharing his research and findings in all markets and sectors. He is the author of 40 books published in 28 different languages. He has produced over 50 CDs and DVDs covering subjects such as development in relationships, wealth, education and business. Each program is designed to assist people to activate leadership and empower themselves in all seven areas of their lives: Financial, physical, mental, vocational, spiritual, family and social.

‘I caught up with him at the recent event in Perth, entitled ‘Business Breakthrough’. He thanked me for coming and complimented me on my tie! In just a few seconds he gave you the feeling that you were the most important person he had met that day. Now that is a gift to which we should all aspire. I told him that it was an honour to meet him.

If you ever get chance to attend one of his seminars, I highly recommend it.’

Tony Inman – ‘The Reinvention Specialist’

Check out Tony’s business site at www.clubred.com.au

Tenacity – an Inspirational Attribute!

Marion-Clignet

Marion-Clignet - World Champion despite Epilepsy

Last night I was very fortunate to attend a lecture from a lady who was nothing short of a revelation.

I have to confess to my ignorance of the sport of cycling, despite watching occasional clips of the Tour de France, that I had never previously heard of Marion Clignet. Yet when I read the invitation from WA Epilepsy Association head honcho, Suresh Rajan, I knew we were in for a treat.

Cyclist, Marion Cligny had been crowned World Champion six times, as well as double Olympic Silver Medalist, ten times French national champion and multiple USA champion, plus a world record breaker in a lengthy and illustrious career in the sport, all despite taking medication for epilepsy.

The audience was obviously in immediate rapport with Marion because most of them either suffered the effects of epilepsy, or their lives had been touched by a connection with someone else who has the ‘condition’.

Nevertheless, it is fair to say that even a person who couldn’t care less about the topic would have been moved by Marion’s inspirational tenacity to overcome any obstacle put before her.

Rejected by the American National Team on the grounds that her having epilepsy might prove a hazard to her teammates, thus effectively discriminated against, Marion accepted an invitation to race for France, courtesy of her French parentage.

Marion also overcame discrimination against her gender in that women do not enjoy anywhere near the level of sponsorship or support as men do, in her chosen sport.

Now effectively retired from competing at the top level, (she just does triathlons for fun!) Marion revealed how a person with epilepsy can suffer a seizure anywhere, anytime. She explained the absurdity with which first aiders can be trained in how to help people who have suffered heart attacks, and have defribulators often readily available, yet the vast majority of the population have no idea what to do if someone has a seizure, nor is emergency medication readily available!

The message from Marion Clignet was delivered in a witty, spellbinding, yet forthright manner – that ‘those who face major adversities can realise their dreams and ambitions and that actually having these hurdles can often become the driving motivation behind their successes.’

In her book, ‘Tenacious’ with Benjamin C Hovey, she concludes, simply yet from the heart, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.

Marion Clignet - an inspiration to us all

Marion Clignet - an Inspiration to Us All

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.
Marion Clignet


Cycling World Champion

Champion of the Cause of Spreading Awareness of Epilepsy

 

 

This poses the obvious question – If Marion can be a World Champion, despite suffering seizures, can’t the rest of us also  ‘Ride faster, harder and with a smile’? – Thanks Marion 🙂

Further information about epilepsy can be obtained from:

Mr Suresh Rajan – Executive Officer

Epilepsy Association of Western Australia

P: (08) 93467699       F: (08)93467696 E: epilepsy@cnswa.com

The Niche Suite B, 11 Aberdare Road, Nedlands WA 6009

My NLP Gurus And How It Really Works

George Faddoul & Tony Inman

George Faddoul & Tony Inman

I am very excited – both about the new skills I have been learning this year, and about the amazing people I have met.

I would like to thank Roberta Faddoul at QC Seminars for her vision in creating the scholarship programme for people wishing to learn about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

My friend, Stan Nelson of the Streetsmarts Self Defence Tactics Academy recommended the NLP course to me and it sounded interesting. Thus  I attended the I-NLP Practitioner Programme in Perth in June.

Matt James & Tony Inman - Perth WA

Matt James & Tony Inman

It was frankly one of the best decisions I ever made. I have always been interested in the subjects of the power of self talk, the psychology of success and body language, so this was right up my street.

It was very quickly apparent to me that George Faddoul and Matt James are masters of their craft – they are gifted teachers and absolute gurus of NLP.

Furthermore, Matt, who is from Hawaii is a master of the esoteric teachings of Hawaiian Huna, which assists you in connecting body and spirit. That’s why I had to wear a Hawaiian shirt, to make him feel at home!

Nik Halik & Tony Inman

Nik Halik & Tony Inman

I was also delighted to meet former Australian astronaut and financial guru, Nik Halik, who was promoting his Sharelord programme.

By the way, here is a modern definition of ‘guru’ from the  Miriam Webster dictionary:

a : a teacher and especially intellectual guide in matters of fundamental concern
b : one who is an acknowledged leader or chief proponent
c : a person with knowledge or expertise : expert
A Real Life Story About The Application of NLP
I used my recently acquired NLP skills to be able to anchor my thoughts to a very empowering moment in my life, which I was then able to put into effect in a very dramatic way.
My partner, Jo’s father recently passed away and the family asked me to deliver the eulogy at his funeral. My initial reaction was that I would struggle to get through the speech without choking. (They do say that a lot of people have such a fear of public speaking, that they would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy!)
My concern was less about the public speaking, because I am pretty at ease with that now, it was about wanting to do a good job for the family. Initially, I didn’t believe I could do it, so I declined and suggested that the celebrant could deliver the speech if I wrote it.
We had a family brainstorming session on anecdotes and I crafted a speech, linking the various stories. When I read it out to the family in the safety of their loungeroom, they implored me to make the speech in public at the funeral.
Having just completed the basic course, I had learned a powerful empowerment technique so now I began to believe I could do it. In fact, being a visual person, I could see myself doing it.
When we entered the room and saw the screen filled with a lifetime of images to the right, a sea of mostly unknown faces to the left, and of course the emotional sight of Alan’s coffin in front of me, my heart started pounding like a steam engine. To say I was a tad nervous would be a huge understatement.
I used the technique to slow my breathing and my heart rate, to calm myself and to change my whole state.
As I stood up to deliver the eulogy and faced that crowd, I knew I could do this.
As the words began to flow, I was able to relax and adjust the tempo, the tone and the timbre of my speech. I have to confess to choking very slightly on the final sentence, in fact to some people it went unnoticed. I was proud that I had been able to do my best to honour the life of a fine man in a way that gave comfort to his family.
Without the NLP skills, I know I would have struggled – in fact I might well have left the job to the celebrant, who had never met the man.
I was so impressed that I then invested in my continuing education by flying to Sydney to attending the 6 day NLP Master Practitioner Course. That too, was life changing.
Nick LeForce & George Faddoul

Nick LeForce & George Faddoul

Once again, we had the wonderful teachings of George Faddoul, accompanied this time by Nick LeForce, another guru in his field.

Just as I had in the first course, I met some extraordinary people on the advanced course, may of whom I believe will be lifetime friends.
When I sold my tourism business I had owned for fourteen years last year, I was at another crossroads in my life.
Now, one year later, having contemplated and explored several opportunities, including writing a novel, I know with clarity where I am heading.
Nick LeForce & Tony Inman

Nick LeForce & Tony Inman

My future lies in helping and inspiring others to achieve amazing successes.

NLP is another wonderful tool to put in my personal toolbox to assist me in my mission.

For those who have known me for a while, I can also tell you that with the help of NLP, I am now progressively regaining the fitness of my youth, and will be running the Perth City to Surf 12 km fun run on the 28th August, sponsored by local charity, the Activ Foundation and by Chevron.

If you want to learn more about NLP, see George’s link here, where you can obtain his free DVD on ‘How To Get A Bigger Bite Out Of Life’ , or contact me using the form on this website.

Until next time, live your life with passion!