Embrace Change? Does that Notion Scare You?

 

Embrace change? Or are you stuck in the past?

Are you motivated to embrace change?

Embrace change or fear it - which do you prefer?

Embrace Change or Fear it?

 

Some people love to embrace change. The very thought of it drives them on in life and excites them. Others, less so.

Are you a person who doesn’t like change?

If so, have you ever thought about why that might be?

 

The Reality of Change

 

Love it or loathe it, change is inevitable, in all aspects of your life. What’s more, the speed at which things are changing in our modern world is happening faster than ever. It’s not even a new concept.

Here are two quotes from a Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, who lived from 0535 to 0475BCE.

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

And

“The only thing that is constant is change.”

Heraclitus

Here’s an interesting twist though – the tools and gadgets are changing at a lightning pace. New inventions become obsolete almost before they hit the retail stores, as our consumer-driven world relentlessly demands newer and better. Yet people, are fundamentally the same as they’ve always been.

People still bristle with emotions, just as they did in the days of Heraclitus. Remember the seven deadly sins?

  1. God gave man rules to live by, but did they include embracing change?

    Did ’embracing change’ include eating apples?

    Gluttony

  2. Lust
  3. Greed / avarice
  4. Pride / hubris
  5. Sorrow/despair /despondency
  6. Vanity
  7. Sloth / laziness

Just look at the leaders of the world, such as Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un if you want any proof of our lack of advancement.

In that sense we realise that our very being is essentially the same as it’s always been. It’s hard to embrace change when our emotional makeup has been passed down through the centuries.

Another Greek philosopher, Epicurus, who lived from 341 to 270 BCE, gave rise to our motivation being based on avoiding pain and desiring pleasure:

“Pleasure is the first good. It is the beginning of every choice and every aversion. It is the absence of pain in the body and troubles in the soul.”

Epicurus

 

The Myths of Change

 

Embrace change demanded Mahatma Gandhi

“Be the change you want to see in the world” –
Mahatma Gandhi

Many of our embedded notions surrounding change suggest that it is unattainable for humans, e.g.

‘A leopard never changes his spots’.

You may know of some ‘bad people’ whom you believe will always be bad, no matter what you do to help them change. Conversely, some people are thought to be too good to others, often to their own detriment.

Yet, if you go back to Heraclitus’s river quote, you realise that even the bad person is impacted in some way by the changing circumstances or consequences of their actions.

There are many documented cases of ‘bad people’ who have evolved, grown, become more humane, and who have done ‘good’ in the community.

Another great myth is that successful people cannot be happy. Historically, we have a lot of myths around money and wealth, especially those cited by the poor, that rich people are ruthless and unhappy people, as a justification for not doing anything about their own state of poverty.

A common misquote from the bible has been that ‘Money is the root of all evil’, when the correct quote was that ‘The love of money is the root of all evil.’ The shift of meaning between the two is a chasm. The reality is that it is possible to be successful, yet not put money before all else, and to use that money as a force for good, such as building hospitals and schools or feeding the homeless.

 

Embracing change with a quote from Jim Rohn

EASY TO = EASY NOT TO

Fear of Change

 

So, back to why you may fear change… even the thought of it may bring up such foes as fear of failure; fear of success; fear of rejection; fear of being ostracised; fear of embarrassment or even worse, humiliation.

Don’t think that I’m simply giving you a list of excuses here as to why you don’t have to change – far from it.

Change is often about taking small, manageable steps. The problem with that was summed up beautifully by one of my favourite coaches, Jim Rohn, who is sadly no longer with us:

 

 

“The things that are easy to do are also easy not to.”

Jim Rohn

 

The Change Process

 

The first step to success in change is to gain clarity about the gap between your present state and your desired state, i.e. where you are now vs. where you wish to be.

The second is to identify the obstacles to progress, or that which is stopping you.

The third is to develop a strategy to plan the work to move forwards.

The fourth is to take action and work the plan.

 

Embracing change is something we'll all have to get used to!

Are you willing to embrace change and evolve?

How to Embrace Change Effectively

 

It sounds easy doesn’t it? Clearly, it’s not always so easy, which is one of the reasons people hire people like me, coaches, who are trained in helping people to embrace change and achieve it.

One reason they hire me to help them embrace change is that it’s easier for someone who’s not emotionally entangled in the situation, to see things more clearly. Another reason is that I’m trained to observe the complexities and pick up on the unseen blockages and clues as to why progress is not happening.

 

I’m also trained and experienced in how to help people through these problems and develop effective strategies. I bring that extra insight, followed by the level of accountability that you may need for the desired change to occur.

“There can be no hope without fear, and no fear without hope.”

Baruch Spinoza

Embrace change is a message spread by coach Tony Inman

Call me for a chat about embracing change

If you’d like your next year’s goals and the year after’s goals to be different from, and more exciting than, your last year’s goals, why not give me a call for a chat. There’s no obligation and no unexpected fees, but if you’d like to increase your chances of effective change, please contact me via the details below.

Tony Inman – ‘The Change Catalyst’

Mob. 0419 860 382

 

 

Why Weather Reflects Your Attitude

Choose your attitude towards the weather and choose your attitude towards life

‘Attitude can be symbolised by weather conditions’, I pondered this morning.

Yesterday had been a squally, overcast, downer of a day, or so it seemed it could be, first thing in the morning. Our family went to a winery to enjoy a sensational Christmas in July charity lunch, yet my step-son’s first words as he grumbled his way from the front door to the car were, “Looks like a terrible day to be going out anywhere.”

The fact is that he’s not a morning person, so even a bright blue sky would merely have given him one less thing to whinge about. He takes a lot of medication for a rare, genetic epilepsy condition, so having to get out of bed before he feels ready to is always sufficient cause for muttering and griping. That tends to be his default attitude to life in the morning.

We may not be able to choose the weather but we can choose our attitude‘A red sky at night is a shepherd’s delight; a red sky in the morning is a shepherd’s warning’ is one of those little rhymes I remember from childhood and for some people that would shape their attitude towards a day that hadn’t even arrived yet. What I noticed this morning again though is how a beautiful blue sky, void of any clouds at all (and we’re very lucky to enjoy many such days in Perth) has the capacity to lift your spirit instantly and thus affect your attitude in a positive way as a new day begins.

A while ago though, I heard the great Scottish comedian, Billy Connolly espouse the view that, “There is no such thing as ‘bad’ weather – there’s only ‘bad’ choice of clothing”. The inference was that the weather was neither good nor bad; the determining factor was your preparation for either extreme and your attitude towards your environment.

 

Do you have a default setting for your attitude?

a bad attitude will seldom help youTo go back to my step-son, protesting his way to the car yesterday, I responded by quoting Billy Connolly in a bright and chirpy fashion and pointing out that he’d be mostly indoors anyway but would have escaped the darkness of the dungeon (young man’s bedroom) that he inhabits. Have you ever noticed though, how the last thing a person who’s decided to fester away in their grumpy darkness needs, is to be confronted with a cheerful, happy person?

He continued to grumble about the weather and the road conditions as we made our way through a spectacular valley near our home. Even as the rain gave way for a burst of sunshine and the raindrops glistened and sparkled as they ran down the leaves of the picturesque gum trees, and even as we passed by the breathtaking vineyards and saw alpacas munching with delight on the moist, vibrantly green grass, his attitude of grumpiness continued unabated.

We were listening in the car to a CD we’d bought at a show the night before, recorded by a jazz/swing singer, Cathrine Summers, who is blessed with the kind of voice that gives you goose-bumps. My partner and my mother-in-law were enraptured by her dulcet tones and we all found ourselves slightly disappointed as we arrived at our destination that we’d have to stop listening. The two ladies had been singing along in the back of the car. Our very own misanthrope chipped in, almost predictably, with, “Why do you always listen to such depressing music?” I simply smiled.

 

A rainy attitude in an overcast workplace

wherever you go, you take your attitude with youI remember way back when I used to work at ‘Big W’ as a retail manager and I’d walk into my sales office first thing in the morning to be confronted by the daily ritualistic mutterings of two ladies whose demeanour reminded me of Shakespearian witches. Most of their gloomy, pessimistic sentences ended with the words “…this bloody place.” I used to clap my hands loudly as I bounced into the office, muster the biggest, cheeriest smile I could wear and exclaim loudly, “Good morning ladies and how are you this wonderful morning?”

“What the bloody hell’s wrong with you?” they’d snarl, ever more resolute in their mission of misery and discord.

“I was just thinking how wonderful it is to be alive.” Or something equally provocative, would be my typical response. My favourite though was, “If it’s that bad, why don’t you leave and do something else, something that makes you happy?” They insisted that they couldn’t because they had bills to pay – thus their attitude of misery was entrenched.

I found a strange solace in their determination to stay miserable, just as I find a strange solace today in looking at Mother Nature and her choice of ‘clothing’, i.e. the weather, and choosing to see the beauty, no matter the conditions.

 

Attitude can be like the cloud that moves above you or like the sunshine behind it

do you focus on the clouds or the sunshine?You see, some people choose to take ‘their weather’ with them. They see the warm weather as ‘too hot’, the cooler days as ‘too cold’, and the rainy days as ‘shitty’, as if raindrops had been somehow replaced with a downpour of excrement! The weather is simply a metaphor for their attitude towards life.

It is my contention that attitude is a matter of personal choice in any given moment, no matter your location. Two people can look at the same weather conditions and the same vista and one will choose to see beauty and light; the other will choose to see ugliness and darkness. “Can it really be that simplistic?” you ask.

 

Attitude is not controlled by your problems – you can ignore the forecast!

“Ah, but you don’t know what problems I’m dealing with?” insists the pessimist. “If you had my problems, you’d be miserable and overwhelmed too.” It’s possible that I would, of course, but only temporarily.

I’ve had many problems in my life, just as we all do, but I’ve always fostered the belief that no matter what happens to you, no matter what problems you face, maintaining a negative attitude will only disempower you, whereas looking for the positives, even within the depths of a crisis, will help empower you to seek solutions, to find a way of picking yourself back up and to move forwards again with a sense of renewed purpose and an extra layer of resilience.

Just as I wrote these words, I heard from through in the loungeroom, my partner exclaimed, “What a beautiful sunny day!” My mother-in-law responded with her gloomiest Birmingham accent, “Bit misty!” To use the modern vernacular, I LOL’d at the timing.

There’s an old saying that ‘Your attitude will determine your altitude’. I wish for you today, and from this day forwards, that you enjoy a day that is driven by a great attitude and you soar like an eagle. Have an awesome day!

If you’d like any help with defining some strategic solutions to areas in which you feel ‘stuck’, feel free to contact me for a coffee catch-up.

Other blog posts you might like:

 

 

Karma – His Name Was Ned Kelly but He Didn’t Hang About!

A guy named Ned Kelly gave me a helping handDo you believe in karma? You know those days when things happen that make you think and ask yourself what life’s really all about?

Well, the following was a post I wrote recently for my Linked In page and I thought it was worth posting it again here on my website, as I believe it’s a message about karma that’s worth sharing for those who may not have seen it.

Recently, as I was going about my work duties and later on that afternoon, my social networking, I had a few experiences in the same day that reminded me of an important lesson in business and in life.

 

 

Early that morning, I found myself on the way to meet a new coaching prospect who had been referred to me by a previous client – what is known in sales circles as a warm lead. It was a spectacular autumn morning in Perth and we had coffee out in the sunshine overlooking a beautiful lake. The meeting naturally went well – we hit it off and the gentleman concerned became a new client. As soon as I left the meeting, I rang my referrer to thank her and to let her know that it had been a successful match. This business angel was delighted because by taking a moment out of her day, with one introduction she had been able to help him and to help me at the same time. My new client was also keen to offer her son some more work and more career mentorship, so everyone was a winner from that small act of kindness. It was a case of ‘What goes around, comes around’ or as others call it – ‘karma’.

It was a day where one of my businesses needed me to do a job that required some physical labour. That might sound a bit odd when I have a cleaning business, but I set up the enterprise right from the beginning with the notion of practicing what I preach, namely delegating the work that others can do and freeing me to use my expertise on managing and growing my businesses.

The reason I had to do the so-called ‘grunt work’ that day was that it was a task that would have distracted my staff from their normal duties, plus I’m currently the only one who has a vehicle with a tow bar, which I needed to pull a trailer. It’s an extra service that we offer in our cleaning business, whereby we also take discarded bulk rubbish items, such as beds, furniture and white goods to the Council tip for recycling. Many of our strata complexes have transient residents who think nothing of dumping such items on the common areas for ‘someone else’ to deal with.

Club Red Strata Cleaning has a bulk rubbish removal serviceI found myself down a narrow laneway at the back of one of our high-rise apartment blocks, realising that someone had parked and blocked the exit. It would have been a ridiculously long way to reverse a trailer, so I began to undertake what would probably have been about a thirty-point turn, backwards and forwards, carefully avoiding multiple parked cars. Suddenly a young workman appeared from nowhere, giving me directions to help me judge how close or far my trailer was from the vehicles. I laughed to myself as I remembered the scene in the first Austin Powers movie where the bumbling superhero had to turn a golf buggy around in a tight laneway. If you haven’t seen it, check it out – I had tears of laughter. With the help of my ‘Whoa’ and ‘Back a bit further’ angel, I completed this turn-around much more quickly and safely than Austin Powers had.

 

My staff then helped me load the bulk items onto the trailer, including some heavy couches, a fridge, washing machine and a collection of household bits and pieces. Usually it’s easier to unload the items than to load them, so I can manage on my own at the tip. When it came to unloading a four-seater couch and trying to manoeuvre it to where I could lift it over a low wall, I was struggling, particularly as I had only just made it in time before the tip closed, so I was trying to hurry. The couch had to fit between some safety chains that are intended to stop people falling over the wall with a big drop on the other side and it was both heavy and awkward. Suddenly, a young man appeared at my side, asking “Would you like a hand with that mate?”

He had seen me struggling and immediately came over to help. I thought, ‘That’s such an Aussie thing to do.’ I also assumed that he worked there, until he returned to his own truck to start unloading his own stuff. I offered to reciprocate but he said he was fine.

As if that wasn’t enough good deeds received for the day, I had another great experience in the evening. I’d been meaning to check out a local social club, where I hoped to meet more of the locals in my new community. Having bought a house in the Perth hills at Christmas, I’m keen to make new friendships as well as business connections in the area. I entered the clubhouse on my own and approached the bar. The friendly bar maid immediately smiled and asked if I was a member. I smiled back and said, “Not yet, but I’m interested in joining.” I sat at a bar stool mid-way between two sets of two blokes. Before my Guinness had even settled, the one on my left introduced himself as Neil and began to chat. Before I’d taken my first sip, the guy on my right was grabbing me a membership application form and a pen. One sponsored me and the other seconded me.

“Does this make you guys responsible for my behaviour then?” I joked, pointing out that they didn’t yet know me from a bar of soap. They were obviously great judges of character and had sussed out that I was a good guy straight away. We went on to have some interesting conversations and I made some new friends. The greatest irony of my behavioural question was that I had been seconded by none other than a guy known as Ned Kelly!

It's amazing who you can meet in the pubFor the benefit of my overseas friends, the original Ned Kelly was Australia’s most infamous outlaw, who in true Aussie anti-authoritarian fashion was seen by many as a larrikin, hanged by the Victorian legal system, despite a mass protest from over thirty thousand petitioners.  He was a sort of Aussie version of the better-known Robin Hood of England, – well, you must remember that our nation was built by convicts, except that they had mostly been convicted for things like stealing a loaf when they were starving etc. Instead of leaving me hanging with ‘Billy No-Mates’, as even his namesake would not have done, this Ned Kelly had given me the gift of helping to make my day.

So here is the point of my story: in a day that had included a diverse array of challenges, I had enjoyed some positive experiences – a warm referral; being helped without even asking for it when others saw I was struggling; and being welcomed by strangers, who then became friends. There are few worse feelings than the pain of regret that you failed to notice or acknowledge that someone had done you a good deed.

Karma has great power - when you help others, it may come back to you in a different way, but it will come back.It had been a day where good things had happened and I thanked the Universe for those gifts. I also realised though that I had received back to me those same things that I endeavour to frequently give to others. Whenever I can, I try to connect good people. If I can help others who are struggling as I go through my day, I habitually try my best to do what I can; if I can help bring a smile to someone’s face, it’s one of life’s simplest gifts. In fact, the oldest lessons are the simplest – regularly do good things for others and it will not only help them and help you on a spiritual level, but it will also somehow come back to you in unexpected ways. That’s the way karma works – sometimes the returning favour may be so obscure that you don’t connect the effect with the original cause.

In hindsight, it had been a typical day – it’s just that I took the time and the moment of brain-power to notice the karmic lesson. I hope my realisation might make a difference to your life and to those whom you encounter today, both in your business and in your daily life. If it does, I’d love to hear about it. Meanwhile, have a great day!

TIME – The Great Conundrum

Time is the great leveller, or is it?

Why is it that in the same amount of time, some people manage to do so much, while others seem to do so little?

Is it a matter of motivation or is it a learned skill?

If you know what you want the outcome to be, with absolute clarity, and you have the resources – skills, knowledge, money, contacts to achieve it, will you still manage to achieve more than a less-prepared person?

Is time relative, and if so, to what or perhaps a better question, to whom?

Does it really matter what other people achieve in a set period because at the end of the day, the better question is, ‘Were you happy with what you achieved?’

Here’s another post I wrote about whether it’s better to focus on achieving the goal or on imagining that you already have achieved it – click here to read.

If you’d like to make more effective use of your time, call me for a chat and we’ll see if I can help you – that’s leveraging from another person’s experience!

Regret is a Pointless Emotion

Coach Tony Inman talks about the pointlessness of regretWhat are the things you most regret?

In most cases, assuming you do allow yourself to regret anything, and let’s face it, you are a human being, there will be something.

Usually, it’s something you didn’t do – an action you ‘should’ have taken; an opportunity you missed; a moment where you allowed a fear to block you; but sometimes it’s a mistake you made. There is also the fact that the way you perceive a situation can change over time.

No matter what it is, it’s in the past now; it’s done; the moment has gone. Realising that, ask yourself, ‘What did I learn from that?’

There are only a rare few who are disciplined enough to eliminate regrets completely from their lives, aside from psychopaths of course, but what has become clear to me is that we need to develop our trust in our instincts, whilst still overcoming our instinctual fears, to allow us to glimpse the rewards of taking the action.

If you do take the action, trusting and believing that it’s the right and ethical thing to do, then there will be no need for regrets because you did the best you could with what you knew.

In my experience, we mostly tend to regret the things we wish we had done, rather than the things we did do.