Regret is a Pointless Emotion

Coach Tony Inman talks about the pointlessness of regretWhat are the things you most regret?

In most cases, assuming you do allow yourself to regret anything, and let’s face it, you are a human being, there will be something.

Usually, it’s something you didn’t do – an action you ‘should’ have taken; an opportunity you missed; a moment where you allowed a fear to block you; but sometimes it’s a mistake you made. There is also the fact that the way you perceive a situation can change over time.

No matter what it is, it’s in the past now; it’s done; the moment has gone. Realising that, ask yourself, ‘What did I learn from that?’

There are only a rare few who are disciplined enough to eliminate regrets completely from their lives, aside from psychopaths of course, but what has become clear to me is that we need to develop our trust in our instincts, whilst still overcoming our instinctual fears, to allow us to glimpse the rewards of taking the action.

If you do take the action, trusting and believing that it’s the right and ethical thing to do, then there will be no need for regrets because you did the best you could with what you knew.

In my experience, we mostly tend to regret the things we wish we had done, rather than the things we did do.

The Power of Intention

The strength of your intention determines whether or not you cross the finish lineImagine that feeling you get when a plan you’ve had for a while finally all comes together. Sometimes the rush is so strong that it gives you goose-bumps. So, if it feels that good, why don’t we make it happen more often?

We often say to ourselves that life just got in the way; that there wasn’t enough time; that we didn’t have the resources; that it was just too hard; sometimes the rationalisations border on the embarrassing.

The difference between wishing for a thing though and really wanting it, until it possibly feels like a burning obsession, is that level of desire.

Desire is not necessarily a bad thing, or a lustful or greedy thing – it can be simply a non-negotiable self-determination to see a thing through; to do whatever it takes to make the idea become a reality.

The litmus test is to ask ourselves, “Am I serious about this? Is it merely a wish or a is it a serious desire?” Wishes might come true, but they rarely lead to the same commitment to action, and taking action is what brings about change.

Here’s the icing on the cake – the more you follow through with the little decisions, the more you believe in yourself and the easier it becomes to make your ideas take shape. That’s why winners become adept at keeping on winning.

Why Rupert Told Reginald He Should Be Grateful His Life Was Crap

Is your life tough? asks coach Tony Inman

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

“My wife just left me, the house burnt down, my dog’s run off and I just got fired!” said Reginald, a miserable looking mouse of a man, his hair unkempt and his clothes crumpled, dejectedly nursing his beer in the darkest corner of the pub. His life sounded like a Country and Western song.

“Never mind mate. You’ve got to look at the positives and feel grateful for what you still have. A lot of people would love to be in your situation! You’ve just got to be more up tempo.” said his friend, Rupert, a man who had been unable to hold down a regular job, and who actually hated his own life, yet who also happened to be a recently qualified ‘success coach’.

Rupert had read ‘The Secret’ and was eagerly awaiting the definitely imminent arrival of his lotto winnings cheque in the mail. He was also a master of ‘positivity’ and spin. He had even had his social media image photo-shopped to make himself appear like a Hollywood star.

You’ve probably heard coaches like Rupert talking about the power of gratitude before, yet if you’re going through a difficult time when you hear that, it’s easy to understand why you might feel somewhat cynical about the well-intentioned advice. You might even tell Rupert to stick his advice where the sun doesn’t shine!

Now to go back to the example – it’s entirely possible that Reginald (a) had drifted apart from his nagging wife and despised her anyway; (b) never really liked his dimly-lit but fully-insured house; (c) never wanted the dog that had originally belonged to his wife and her former lover; and (d) hated that job and his bullying boss and had only just been offered better employment for higher pay, this very week!

bourbon-on-cereal

Are you feeling somewhat challenged by life’s disappointments?

It’s also possible that none of these positive slants existed and that Reginald has every reason to feel like putting bourbon on his corn flakes every day, just to numb the pain.

We never really know what someone else is going through. We can imagine what it might feel like. We can even sympathise with how we think it would feel if we were them, yet we’re not them. We don’t see the world exactly the same way as them and they may not have the same coping mechanisms as us, nor may they have the same strength of character that we believe we possess.

At the risk of sounding a tad ‘Rupert-esque’, it’s fair to say however, that there is always someone, somewhere, whose situation is a damn sight worse than yours. Nevertheless, if your leg is injured and it’s giving you a lot of pain, you can be told that another man’s leg was amputated or that yet another’s was badly burned and you can understand the difference between their plight and your own. You can even accept on a logical level that you should probably feel ‘lucky’. Yet despite this knowledge, it doesn’t stop the fact that your leg still hurts.

Now this is the point in my article where I ask you to indulge me for a moment. You can call me a ‘Rupertian disciple’ if you like, but just for a moment, consider this…

My delightful coach, who is absolutely beautiful both on the inside and the outside, is also a very smart lady. (Yes, even coaches have coaches! We know the value of it more than most.) A while ago, she told me to start a new habit that would have a very positive impact on my life. My coach advised me to get an empty jar and label it my jar of ‘gratitude and happiness’. She instructed me to develop the new habit of writing down each day on little slips of paper at least one, and preferably three, of the things in my life for which I could feel grateful or about which I could feel happy.

My Gratitude Jar

My Gratitude Jar

Knowing that my coach is a smart cookie, and with me being, at least most of the time, an ‘action-taker’, I did it. Now I can openly admit that I wasn’t disciplined enough to remember to do it every day, but whenever I did miss a day, I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just wrote something extra the next day. For example, I wrote things like, “I’m incredibly grateful for having a wonderful girlfriend” or “I’m so blessed to have such amazing children”. It could even be random things like, “It made me happy to give that shop assistant a compliment and to see by her smile that it had made her day.” I even wrote good things down on my crappiest of days. I even smiled at the irony of it sometimes, because yes, it’s true – even a ‘change catalyst’ like me has bad days too!

At the end of the year, I opened the jar and read all my little messages. All I could say was “Wow!” The impact was huge. Not only that, but my girlfriend said she would make it her goal to give me good reason to write even more sweet little messages about her, during the next year, which she actually did.

So, if you think you’re just feeling a bit down or that life’s not so special, give this a try – I promise you it works. If your life is really as bad as Reginald’s in my little story above, then maybe you do need to talk things through with an experienced coach, or a counsellor or a psychologist even. Sometimes life does hand us really tough challenges, it’s true, and sometimes you do need some external help to get you through it. If that’s the case, then let me encourage you to seek help without delay from the appropriate professional. (I fit the first of those descriptions, so feel free to contact me if you’re feeling stuck, or over-whelmed, or you just know that you could really benefit from having a professional sounding-board.)

I’ll finish though with this thought. Actually, it’s more than a thought, it’s commonly accepted as a proven fact by those who have successfully conquered many challenges in their lives… (and I can vouch for it myself).

“When you focus on the things in your life for which you can feel grateful and happy, you will automatically empower yourself to be better, to do more and to have better outcomes.”

~ Tony Inman, ‘The Change Catalyst’

If you don’t believe me, just try it for one month. I now write mine in a journal and that’s another topic for another day, but do whichever works for you. Do please let me know how you go and do remember to have an awesome month, filled with gratitude and happiness.

“Tony has been a fantastic sounding board…” – Juan Rando, Perth

Juan Rando, Owner - Juan Rando Dance Academy

Juan Rando, Owner – Juan Rando Dance Academy

“Although I have a successful business, I felt overwhelmed when my partnership broke up.

Tony has been a fantastic sounding board and has helped me rebuild my focus, enthusiasm, vision and profitability.”

Juan Rando, – Owner, Juan Rando Dance Academy

 

Juan operates Perth’s premier dance academy in Subiaco, Western Australia.

If you have been thinking about learning to dance JRDA caters for all levels, from those wishing to simply have fun, meet people and improve their fitness (and their sex life!) right through to aspiring professional dancers and instructors.

Check out his website at: http://www.jrda.com.au/

 

JRDA provides classes in various styles too:

A Test of Character

When the unthinkable happens and things go about as wrong as they possibly could, how do you react?

Well, see how this pilot reacted when his wing literally fell off!

I gained my pilot’s licence when I was 19, so I’ve seen some great pilots over the years, but that has to be the most amazing piece of flying I have ever seen!

This has a great lesson in it though, – when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!

If you’d like to have a chat about whether you have the wind beneath your wings, or whether you’re figuratively flying without a rudder, why not claim a free discovery session (valued at $150), call today on (08) 9328 2203 or contact Tony Inman- click here

Tenacity – Marion Clignet

Inspirational Video -‘Tenacity’- Marion Clignet

The story of how Marion Clignet, despite having epilepsy and suffering from a seizure most days, was able to become six times World Cycling Champion and Olympic Silver Medalist.

Marion now travels the world as an inspirational speaker, who uses her celebrity status to help educate communities about the condition of epilepsy and it’s impact on thousands of lives.

To find out more about epilepsy and why I support the Epilepsy Association of WA, click here.

Choose To Win Your ‘Game of Life’

Olympics Opening

The 30th Olympiad and the ‘Human Spirit’

Like many Australians this week I have been drawn to my television to watch some of the world’s greatest athletes push themselves to achieve results beyond what was previously thought possible.

The Games of the 30th Olympiad are in this day and age almost unavoidable, even if you are a person who bizarrely hates sport, which of course, I’m not.

I have played a myriad of sports in my lifetime, though not to any level that even approaches Olympic greatness, but I love it. I’m one of those reasonably good all-rounders.

At school though I could easily have been put off the whole idea…

Rather like the story of Tom Brown’s school days, my young primary school friends and I were mercilessly sent out into the snow and freezing rain, shivering in our skimpy singlets, our plimsoles being swallowed by particularly squelchy mud in the grassy green fields surrounding our Victoria College Preparatory School in Jersey, Channel Islands.

Those so-called cross-country runs are etched into my brain as stark reminders of the ‘tough love’ brand of education of yesteryear.

Nostalgia is a quirky thing though, because I now look back on those days and those experiences as ‘character-building’.

Unless you could prove you were dying of something like bubonic plague, the teachers accepted no excuses, and especially not inclement weather conditions!

For me it was like torture, yet for some gifted individuals it was their chance to shine.

Some children found that they had an unusual ability to gallop across those pastures, dodging the cow pats and leaping over barbed wire fences, somehow skipping across the muddy pools without sinking in, while others lost their shoes and socks in the quagmire.

These gazelle-like athletes blazed their way back to the school field and the comforting finish line, probably having time for a hot shower and a cuppa while I was still trying to navigate my way through the field with the bull in it!

It is in those moments of triumph where people like that find an ember of possibility, that maybe, just maybe, they could excel at that chosen sport.

Hockey was another of those sports invented by sadists, though they forgot one important detail in their grand design – that the freezing cold was your ally, because when your opponent’s stick slid up your stick and rapped you on the knuckles, you didn’t feel the pain. Well, not as much anyway, or at least until you had your hot shower and all of the bruising started to come out as the circulation returned to your almost-hypothermic body!

Anyway, back to my point – some of these people ignited a passion for a particular sport. In our house system, at our somewhat elite institution, competition was not only encouraged, it was demanded.

The will to win was instilled and people were trained to continually push the boundaries, so that those embers of possibility became burning cauldrons of desire and resolve.

We competed relentlessly with other schools, and with each other, and achievements were acknowledged at school assemblies.

The Human Connection in the Pursuit of Excellence

The Human Connection in the Pursuit of Excellence

So it is, with the Olympic athletes who grace our screens today. What you see is not the result of some hobby. Rather, it is the result of years of intense passion to achieve a dream, years of sacrifice, years of commitment, to strive to be the best in the world at whatever it is that they do.

That is what captures our interest and indeed our imagination, seeing in their faces the joy of victory or the agony of defeat. That saga, even at this extreme level of excellence is one to which we can all relate, even at our most basic and ordinary levels, for we ‘relatively average’ mortals also experience pleasure and pain in all of our endeavours.

It is in fact a globally televised magnification of the experience of being ‘human’.

Here is the interesting twist, however…

Each one of us has a choice in our lives. We can choose to at least strive for excellence, because even in falling short of that goal, we would probably still improve and grow from the effort.

Or we can choose to lead a life of quiet desperation – a life of ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’s’ and ‘If only’s’.

We may not all be Gold Medallists, but we can all choose to be better, faster, braver – just a little better than last time, and in the effort we can all be winners.

The Winner is You if You Choose To Be One

The Winner is You if You Choose To Be One

We can also encourage each other, so that in those moments of doubt and uncertainty there is always someone to offer a helping hand, a kind word or a smile of support.

The Olympics are so inspirational because they remind us of the great qualities that lie within us all. Admittedly some people hide those qualities so well that you could be excused for thinking them absent, yet still they are there. They just need to be appreciated and uncovered.

So I say, ‘Enjoy the Games’ but remember also that the ‘Game of Life’ continues for us all, perhaps not with medals always up for grabs, but we can all still be winners at whatever we do.

Whether your game is to be a great athlete, or a boss, a mother, father, employee, spouse, whatever… You have the choice – the choice to settle for less, or the choice to strive for more.

I wish for you to choose wisely and to remember that everyone you encounter is fighting their own inner battle, so maybe they need a little kindness.

If you need any help at all in figuring out what’s next in Your ‘Game of Life’ and how to improve your chances of winning, please feel free to contact me.

Meanwhile, have a great week , soak up that Olympic spirit and enjoy the journey.

Tony Inman

Good or Evil? Which One will Win?

Two_wolves_fighting

The two wolves are constantly fighting

There is an old Cherokee tale of a grandfather teaching life principles to his grandson.

The wise old Cherokee said, “Son, on the inside of every person the battle is raging between two wolves. One wolf is evil. It’s angry, jealous, unforgiving, proud, and lazy. The other wolf is good. It is filled with love, kindness, humility, and encouragement. These two wolves are constantly fighting.”

The little boy thought about it and said, “Grandfather, which wolf is going to win?”

The grandfather smiled and said, “Which ever one you feed.”

*****

Which wolf are you feeding in your mind?

Remember that even when you can’t always choose what happens to you in your life, only you can choose how you will react.

 

I just love the wisdom of esoteric tribal teachings. You should listen to what Grandpa’s have to say…

I know, because I’m now a Grandpa!

Have a great week 😛

Empower Yourself or Be Overpowered

Dr John Demartini with Tony Inman

“Any area of your life you don’t empower, someone else will overpower you”. – Dr John Demartini

Dr Demartini is considered one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. He is the founder of the Demartini Institute, a private research and education organization with a curriculum of over 72 different courses covering multiple aspects of human development.

His trademarked methodologies, the Demartini Method and the Demartini Value Determination, are the culmination of 39 years of cross-disciplinary research and study. His work has been  incorporated into  human development industries across the world.

Dr Demartini travels 360 days a year to countries all over the globe,  sharing his research and findings in all markets and sectors. He is the author of 40 books published in 28 different languages. He has produced over 50 CDs and DVDs covering subjects such as development in relationships, wealth, education and business. Each program is designed to assist people to activate leadership and empower themselves in all seven areas of their lives: Financial, physical, mental, vocational, spiritual, family and social.

‘I caught up with him at the recent event in Perth, entitled ‘Business Breakthrough’. He thanked me for coming and complimented me on my tie! In just a few seconds he gave you the feeling that you were the most important person he had met that day. Now that is a gift to which we should all aspire. I told him that it was an honour to meet him.

If you ever get chance to attend one of his seminars, I highly recommend it.’

Tony Inman – ‘The Reinvention Specialist’

Check out Tony’s business site at www.clubred.com.au

How To Get A Bigger Bite Out Of Life – Special Edition

How To Get a Bigger Bite Out of Life

How To Get a Bigger Bite Out of Life by George Faddoul & Tony Inman

 

I’m pleased and honoured to announce the release of a special edition book in conjunction with my friend and NLP mentor, the legendary George Faddoul.

It’s a thought provoking, light and easy read that has already changed many peoples’ lives.

George Faddoul is a successful entrepreneur and author of several books including ‘The Evolution of i-NLP’ and ‘The Modern Day Alchemist From the Land of the Pharoahs’.

George is also a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and a Certified Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

This book also makes a perfect gift idea for special occasions, such as :

  • birthdays
  • Mother’s and Father’s Days
  • helping cheer someone up
  • helping a friend to get moving!

The recommended retail prices is $20 (Australian) but you can order at a special price through this website for only $15.00. Click here to order today!

‘After reading this book, the individual who walks out into the world will be a different person than the one who started reading it in the first place’.

Darren Stephens, Chairman, Mars Venus & author of ‘Success Principles’