The ‘Ahaa’ moments that make you wonder why you don’t listen to yourself!

The 'Ahaa' Moments

The ‘Ahaa’ Moments

Have you ever had the experience of having one of those ‘Ahaaaa’ moments while you ponder how to solve your problems, only to realise that you already knew that answer?

The funny thing is that you perhaps knew it on a sub-conscious level, yet somehow your conscious mind seemed to suppress it or cloud it in a veil of mysterious brain fog. Why does that happen?

Sometimes it can be a case of what Steve Jobs referred to as ‘connecting the dots’. In other words, all the information that was required to reach the conclusion was already there, yet somehow there was a missing link from one snippet to the next – you just needed to make that connection.

What came up today at a workshop I attended was that you might know the answer but you apparently suppress it, because in order to enjoy the gain of achieving that goal or dealing with that problem, you also have to be willing to give up something else.

In some instances you would be giving up something that you didn’t want anyway, so that is a much more palatable option. For example you buy the new car and are glad to get rid of the old rust-bucket.

Inner conflict

Inner conflict

In other instances though you would have to be willing to give up something positive, something that you might miss. For example, in order to buy that dream home that might be modern and stylish, you would also have to give up the old fashioned but comfortable residence that has been your beloved retreat for many years. This can then create an inner conflict and while you’re having an inner conflict, guess what happens?

Usually, not much happens. It’s not that surprising when we remember the way our mind (and the Universe) works. When we set a goal and focus on our desired outcome, we bring to bear the power of our reticular activating system (RAS). This amazing inner resource sets in motion a mental magnetism (the Law of Attraction) that attracts to you all the resources you need to achieve your goal. The resources can be skills, knowledge, equipment, tools or people – whatever you need to ‘make it happen’.

If you want an example of a RAS effect, consider the process of buying a car. You set the goal to buy a new one; you start to fine tune which make and model are appealing. Suddenly that car is everywhere on the roads and in every car yard you drive past. Then out of the blue, there is the very car you want at the price you are willing to pay. Sometimes it is found for you by a friend or a salesman you have come across. In other words, the resources to lead you to the goal have appeared. Those cars were always there – you just weren’t looking for them before.

Goal-setting - a piece of cake?

Goal-setting – a piece of cake?

The setting of a goal not only activates the RAS though, it also usually sends you a little test from the Universe. On Saturday you set a goal to diet and lose weight. No sooner have you set the goal, than on Sunday your next door neighbour knocks on your door and says, “Someone just gave me this double chocolate cream cake and we won’t eat it. Would you like it?” It happens to be your favourite, so you say, “Okay, thanks. We’ll just use that up first and start the diet on Tuesday”. On Tuesday, you visit your mother and she says, “I’ve made you your favourite – a big chocolate pudding.”

 

Whenever you set a goal, the Universe likes to test you out to see if you were actually serious about following through with it!

So what else would stop you from having your ‘Ahaaa’ moment?

You might just suppress the answers because you realise that to make the changes you say you want in your life would require that you step outside your comfort zones. Motivational author and speaker Jim Rohn used to say that “The things that are easy to do are also easy not to!”

The comfort zone blockage might not just be a case of ‘easy to’ versus ‘easy not-to’. It can also be the case that to step outside your comfort zone will lead to another conflict or with having to deal with something painful. For example, emigrating to a new country to take up a new opportunity might mean leaving a partner or a family member behind.

Thus what often happens is that we freeze. We become stuck, confused, frustrated or even angry.

There is however, hope. Working with a sounding board, such as a good coach, can allow you to step back from the problem or break down an apparent problem into what might potentially be many smaller elements, requiring smaller, simpler decisions.

Find the time and space to THINK

Find the time and space to THINK

The biggest thing you can do to help yourself is to allocate the time and space for you to be able to think. Most people simply ‘don’t think’. They become stuck on a treadwheel and keep on repeating the pattern that isn’t working, instead of doing something to change it. Alternatively, worse still, is that they do nothing. They justify their indecision and inaction by blaming circumstances or other people, or they just put it off and they will make a decision ‘later’.

So I urge you to consider this…

If you want to design and live the best life you can, don’t hold on to those problems or they will become like pebbles in your shoes. Create some ‘me’ time – that’s time invested in yourself; time that will enable you to reflect on what you really want versus where you are presently stuck. Seek out the resources you need. Figure out what the price will be, both the physical price and the emotional price. If there’s a conflict, get advice and consider your options, but whatever you do, act in accordance with your values.

If you don’t know what your values are yet, then you really do need to create more personal time for ‘YOU’ because ‘YOU’ are your own greatest asset. That’s another story, but until then, ‘Be happy and work on developing and listening to your own intuition.’

Taking Chances – Why You Should Seize Your Moment

Some people have dreams for a very long time and dare to cling on to the hope that one day their opportunity may come, while others resign themselves to giving up on their dreams.

I love it when celebrities like the amazing Oprah Winfrey and the supremely talented Celine Dion use their fame to give other people an opportunity to shine a light on their special gifts.

I’ll be surprised if this You Tube video clip, introducing young Charice Pempengco doesn’t melt your heart.

The moral of the story – never give up on your dreams, especially when the realisation of them will bring joy to other people – keep the faith and keep working toward them. Then grab that opportunity when it comes along.

There’s Hope for Humanity Yet!

Videos like this one give me hope. We see so much of what is wrong with the world on our news media. I love to balance it up with some inspirational news instead.

My total respect goes out to Keller Laros for this rescue. ( Link: www.mantapacific.org)

 

Don’t Regret – Make It Happen!

 

Doing the things that inspire you

Doing the things that inspire you

If you were lying on your death bed right now and reflecting on your life, would you regret the things you did, or the things you didn’t do?

There are those of course who would say that you did exactly what you were meant to to, so in fact it’s all about perception, but just for a moment let’s examine this question in the context of a theory that you do have the power to design your own life, the way you want it to be.

We all have in us a quirky brain function known as the ‘Reticular Activating System’ (RAS). You may have heard of it, but just in case you haven’t, it’s the what filters the information you receive and decides which bits are important enough for you to focus on.

In the book, ‘The Leadership Brain For Dummies‘ by Marilee B. Sprenger, she states that, “For survival’s sake, your RAS responds to your name, anything that threatens your survival, and information that you need immediately.” She goes on to explain that, “The RAS also responds to novelty. You notice anything new and different.” So, for example, when you are thinking of buying a particular type of car, you will suddenly notice that car popping up all over the place. The cars were always there among the crowd of other cars on the roads, but suddenly you see them because your sub-conscious mind is pushing them up to the forefront of your conscious mind and tagging them as important.

When I was renovating a bathroom at my old tourism establishment, for a brief while there I was focused on bathroom tiles. Everywhere I went, I found myself noticing bathroom tiles – even when I went to the gents after a movie at the cinema! I remember asking myself, “Are you losing the plot here? Enough with the bathroom tiles!”

'If Life's Worth Doing, It's Worth Doing Well'

Tony Inman’ new book

Recently, I just finished writing a book, entitled ‘If Life’s Worth Doing It’s Worth Doing Well’ with the sub-title of ‘Finding Sane Fulfillment in an Insane World’. As the name suggests, it’s about making the most of your life while you can.

Therefore it should come as no surprise to me that my RAS keeps popping up references to this theme, so today on Facebook an old friend, Brett Kibblewhite shared a fascinating article by Sina Anvari.

(Reference: http://www.karenstan.net/2013/11/11/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed/)

The article is called, ‘Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed’

Relish the joy of living your dreams

Relish the joy of living your dreams

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness

********************

I’m reminded of a song here, cheesy though this may seem! Here are the lyrics to Frank Sinatra’s great hit, ‘My Way”, written by Jacques Revaux, Claude Francois, Gilles Thibaut and Paul Anka.

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do , I saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
The right to say the things he feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

*****

Fulfilling a dream of visiting Paris in 1994

Fulfilling a dream of visiting Paris in 1994

My RAS also helps me to harness the Laws of Attraction to bring me opportunities to achieve the goals I have set for myself. That all begins with thinking about what you want out of your life and what is most important to you, then formulating plans to make your dreams come true.

If you’d like to pre-order a copy of my book, you can read more about this topic.

If you’d like some business advice on how to set up your business so you can live more of the life you’d like, then check out my business site at Club Red Inspiration.

So that’s all from me for now. Until next time, “Seize the day!”

Imagine If You Could Create The Identity Of Your Dreams

Inspirational Video – Emmanuel Kelly shows us how we have the power to create our own identity if we can just ‘imagine’.

Now, if your eyes are still dry enough to read…

If a man can come through challenges like Emmanuel and his brother did, what could you do?

If a seemingly ordinary woman with a big heart, like Moira Kelly, can create such an opportunity for change, through unconditional love, what influence could you exert on the world?

Explore the possibilities – allow yourself to imagine, then take action.

This is your life.

Tenacity – Marion Clignet

Inspirational Video -‘Tenacity’- Marion Clignet

The story of how Marion Clignet, despite having epilepsy and suffering from a seizure most days, was able to become six times World Cycling Champion and Olympic Silver Medalist.

Marion now travels the world as an inspirational speaker, who uses her celebrity status to help educate communities about the condition of epilepsy and it’s impact on thousands of lives.

To find out more about epilepsy and why I support the Epilepsy Association of WA, click here.

Are You Willing to Do What it Takes?

leopard_changes_its_spots

As a Coach, I sometimes feel like the dry cleaner in this cartoon

I so often hear people saying they would really like to do something, or be something or have something, but within a few minutes you realise that for them, that elusive thing will only ever be a pipe dream.
That is of course, unless something changes…
Usually, the ‘something’ that needs to change is the person themselves.
Now some would argue of course the old saying that ‘A leopard can’t change its spots’.
Well even if your name is ‘Jackson’ and you’re a world famous singer, you can’t change the colour of your skin, but can you change your mindset?
The answer has to be ‘Yes’.
Barring physical impediments, the rule of thumb is that if someone else can learn to do a particular thing, you probably could too.
One of the key reasons why most people don’t succeed, is that they are quite simply not willing to do what it takes to achieve the result.
If you want to learn to play a guitar for example, you have to practice playing guitar. If you want to be great at it, you have to play til your fingers are sore. Then you keep on practicing despite the pain.

 

success is rarely overnight

success is rarely overnight

When the Beatles returned to England from Germany, they were billed as ‘the band from Germany that was an overnight success’.
In fact they were the band from Liverpool who took the opportunity to go to Germany and who played in seedy Hamburg bars until their fingers bled.
The reason why they were willing to do what other bands were not was that band leader, John Lennon later revealed their dream to be ‘the best band in the world’.
So they had a big dream, a compelling or burning desire in fact, but they were also willing to do what it takes.
Most people don’t even dare to dream, or they talk about their dream with a resigned ‘someday maybe’ attitude.

When I work with business clients, I only work with people who are willing to take action.
Here’s the take away: Whatever your dream, look at someone who’s done it and look at what they did. Study what they did and model what they did. If they did it, you probably can too.
What’s also pleasing is that even if you don’t quite make it, you usually end up coming across a better alternative opportunity than the ones you have now, and you can look yourself in the mirror, knowing that you ‘gave it a go.’

 

Teddy_Roosevelt

President Teddy Roosevelt -a gifted speaker

I’ll conclude with my all time favourite quote (so far). It’s from President Theodore Roosevelt.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

On that, I challenge to build your dream and do what it takes to achieve it.
Until next time,
Tony Inman

How To Get A Bigger Bite Out Of Life – Special Edition

How To Get a Bigger Bite Out of Life

How To Get a Bigger Bite Out of Life by George Faddoul & Tony Inman

 

I’m pleased and honoured to announce the release of a special edition book in conjunction with my friend and NLP mentor, the legendary George Faddoul.

It’s a thought provoking, light and easy read that has already changed many peoples’ lives.

George Faddoul is a successful entrepreneur and author of several books including ‘The Evolution of i-NLP’ and ‘The Modern Day Alchemist From the Land of the Pharoahs’.

George is also a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and a Certified Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

This book also makes a perfect gift idea for special occasions, such as :

  • birthdays
  • Mother’s and Father’s Days
  • helping cheer someone up
  • helping a friend to get moving!

The recommended retail prices is $20 (Australian) but you can order at a special price through this website for only $15.00. Click here to order today!

‘After reading this book, the individual who walks out into the world will be a different person than the one who started reading it in the first place’.

Darren Stephens, Chairman, Mars Venus & author of ‘Success Principles’

 

 

Looking for Different & Improved Results?

Loral-Langemeier

Loral Langemeier

“If you want something new, you must do something different today.”

Loral Langemeier

From her book – ‘The Millionaire Maker’

 

I was fortunate enough to attend one of Loral’s seminars in September and WOW, is this lady powerful!

Loral pulls no punches in telling you that it is your responsibility to change your thinking and your behaviours if you want to achieve a better outcome in your world, especially your financial world!

The good thing though, is that she follows it up with some great advice on exactly how to do that.

If she is ever in your town, do yourself a favour – go and see her.

Passion and Persistence – Tarantino

Quentin Tarantino

Quentin Tarantino - not an overnight success!

If you want an example of an overnight success, then don’t look at ‘Pulp Fiction’ Oscar winner, Quentin Tarantino.

Why? Because the Academy Award-winning Director was no such thing – he had a dream as a young man and he followed his passion with unremitting fervour.

Yesterday, I came down with a mystery bug that left me with barely enough energy to leave my bed in the morning and my couch in the afternoon. Thus, we spent a family evening at home and decided to watch a movie. My step-son, Troy hadn’t seen the movie, ‘Pulp Fiction’ and it had been a few years since we last watched the movie classic, so the decision was a no-brainer.

As a writer, I find myself analysing plot structures and subtleties on which other viewers might not ‘waste’ their time, but to me it’s extremely satisfying, and with his films I am captivated and intrigued.

We all enjoyed the movie immensely and laughed out loud at some of the dark humour, with me, who has seen it probably four or five times, laughing just as much as first time viewer, Troy.

Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction

Realising that this tenth anniversary DVD came with another disc full of extras, I sat spellbound this morning by in-depth interviews with an amazing cast of accomplished actors and of course, Director and Screenwriter, Quentin Tarantino.

Most people probably only heard of Tarantino when ‘Pulp Fiction’ took the world by storm, thus making him an ‘overnight success’.

As in most cases where these words are dropped in by the media, the man was no such thing.

For years, he had struggled as a ‘nobody’. Quentin joked that if you had sent a letter addressed to him at ‘The Outskirts of the Movie Industry’, he would have received it!

With a passion for movies at the core of his being, he had spent his childhood on self-study, of the great Directors. His encyclopaedic knowledge of movies, of themes, of plots, of genres, of techniques had earned him a job, working behind the counter in a video store.

On the weekends he would hire equipment, to gain the maximum benefit of the rental, and would work tirelessly from Friday night to Monday morning making what he himself described as ’embarassingly bad films’.

Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds with Brad Pitt

He shot hundreds of hours of movie footage and couldn’t afford the editing equipment to review it, until a considerable time later.

This was in effect his personal study programme – the apprenticeship that made him ready. The interviewer summed it up as a realisation that ‘everything you’ve learned in your life so far has prepared you for this moment’.

An incredibly talented expert, his  original screenplays were so compelling that one of the Producers of ‘Pulp Fiction’ was willing to take a chance on Quentin without having even seen his earlier work, including the lower budget hit, ‘Reservoir Dogs’.

As they say, ‘The rest is history’. The actors who have worked with him, which include a star-studded list of names like Samuel L Jackson, John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, Robert De Niro, Brad Pitt et al, proclaim that they would turn up to work with this guy in whatever starring, or cameo, role that he asked them to play. Such is their love of his work and his style.

The legend is now also a producer, cinematographer, director, screenwriter and cameo actor in a manner reminiscent of the great Alfred Hitchcock.

His screenplays are emotive and unconventional, especially with his love of altering timelines to tantalise an audience as his characters’ stories inter-weave or run concurrently.

Travolta & Jackson

Travolta & Jackson - Pulp Fiction

The dialogue is supremely realistic and believably commonplace, such as the scene where the two hit men in ‘Pulp Fiction’ are on their way to kill a drug dealer, who has wronged their boss. Travolta’s character, Vincent has just returned from Europe, so on the way in the car, he chats mundanely about the little things he has experienced, such as a cheeseburger being called a ‘Royale’, or the interpretation of the sexuality of a foot massage. The horrific nature of their job does not alter the humanity of their chit-chat on the way to work.

Quentin Tarantino’s acclaimed movies include: Reservoir Dogs (1992), Pulp Fiction (1994) – (yes it was that long ago!), Jackie Brown (1997), Kill Bill (2003 & 2004), Death Proof (2007), Inglorious Basterds (2009) and the upcoming feature, Django Unchained (2012).

Kill Bill

Kill Bill spawned a sequel

In his youth he was but a poor man, with no car and no money, working in a video store to make ends meet, and sleeping on a friend’s couch.

What he did have though was a dream,  as Tarantino himself puts it, “with no fall back plan”. He had a willingness to fail until one day he could earn a living doing the one thing that he really loved.

Whether you personally like his films or loathe them is immaterial, as the man is a rock star of his industry. Slightly eccentric without doubt, but a man to be admired for both his passion and his persistence, so thank you Quentin for sharing your gift with us all.

By the way, he also comes in on budget, because he wants ‘the people who believed in me to get their money back’.

The big question is, ‘What is YOUR passion? And are you following it?’

Until next time, think about what matters to you and seize the day!