Why Rupert Told Reginald He Should Be Grateful His Life Was Crap

Is your life tough? asks coach Tony Inman

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

“My wife just left me, the house burnt down, my dog’s run off and I just got fired!” said Reginald, a miserable looking mouse of a man, his hair unkempt and his clothes crumpled, dejectedly nursing his beer in the darkest corner of the pub. His life sounded like a Country and Western song.

“Never mind mate. You’ve got to look at the positives and feel grateful for what you still have. A lot of people would love to be in your situation! You’ve just got to be more up tempo.” said his friend, Rupert, a man who had been unable to hold down a regular job, and who actually hated his own life, yet who also happened to be a recently qualified ‘success coach’.

Rupert had read ‘The Secret’ and was eagerly awaiting the definitely imminent arrival of his lotto winnings cheque in the mail. He was also a master of ‘positivity’ and spin. He had even had his social media image photo-shopped to make himself appear like a Hollywood star.

You’ve probably heard coaches like Rupert talking about the power of gratitude before, yet if you’re going through a difficult time when you hear that, it’s easy to understand why you might feel somewhat cynical about the well-intentioned advice. You might even tell Rupert to stick his advice where the sun doesn’t shine!

Now to go back to the example – it’s entirely possible that Reginald (a) had drifted apart from his nagging wife and despised her anyway; (b) never really liked his dimly-lit but fully-insured house; (c) never wanted the dog that had originally belonged to his wife and her former lover; and (d) hated that job and his bullying boss and had only just been offered better employment for higher pay, this very week!

bourbon-on-cereal

Are you feeling somewhat challenged by life’s disappointments?

It’s also possible that none of these positive slants existed and that Reginald has every reason to feel like putting bourbon on his corn flakes every day, just to numb the pain.

We never really know what someone else is going through. We can imagine what it might feel like. We can even sympathise with how we think it would feel if we were them, yet we’re not them. We don’t see the world exactly the same way as them and they may not have the same coping mechanisms as us, nor may they have the same strength of character that we believe we possess.

At the risk of sounding a tad ‘Rupert-esque’, it’s fair to say however, that there is always someone, somewhere, whose situation is a damn sight worse than yours. Nevertheless, if your leg is injured and it’s giving you a lot of pain, you can be told that another man’s leg was amputated or that yet another’s was badly burned and you can understand the difference between their plight and your own. You can even accept on a logical level that you should probably feel ‘lucky’. Yet despite this knowledge, it doesn’t stop the fact that your leg still hurts.

Now this is the point in my article where I ask you to indulge me for a moment. You can call me a ‘Rupertian disciple’ if you like, but just for a moment, consider this…

My delightful coach, who is absolutely beautiful both on the inside and the outside, is also a very smart lady. (Yes, even coaches have coaches! We know the value of it more than most.) A while ago, she told me to start a new habit that would have a very positive impact on my life. My coach advised me to get an empty jar and label it my jar of ‘gratitude and happiness’. She instructed me to develop the new habit of writing down each day on little slips of paper at least one, and preferably three, of the things in my life for which I could feel grateful or about which I could feel happy.

My Gratitude Jar

My Gratitude Jar

Knowing that my coach is a smart cookie, and with me being, at least most of the time, an ‘action-taker’, I did it. Now I can openly admit that I wasn’t disciplined enough to remember to do it every day, but whenever I did miss a day, I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just wrote something extra the next day. For example, I wrote things like, “I’m incredibly grateful for having a wonderful girlfriend” or “I’m so blessed to have such amazing children”. It could even be random things like, “It made me happy to give that shop assistant a compliment and to see by her smile that it had made her day.” I even wrote good things down on my crappiest of days. I even smiled at the irony of it sometimes, because yes, it’s true – even a ‘change catalyst’ like me has bad days too!

At the end of the year, I opened the jar and read all my little messages. All I could say was “Wow!” The impact was huge. Not only that, but my girlfriend said she would make it her goal to give me good reason to write even more sweet little messages about her, during the next year, which she actually did.

So, if you think you’re just feeling a bit down or that life’s not so special, give this a try – I promise you it works. If your life is really as bad as Reginald’s in my little story above, then maybe you do need to talk things through with an experienced coach, or a counsellor or a psychologist even. Sometimes life does hand us really tough challenges, it’s true, and sometimes you do need some external help to get you through it. If that’s the case, then let me encourage you to seek help without delay from the appropriate professional. (I fit the first of those descriptions, so feel free to contact me if you’re feeling stuck, or over-whelmed, or you just know that you could really benefit from having a professional sounding-board.)

I’ll finish though with this thought. Actually, it’s more than a thought, it’s commonly accepted as a proven fact by those who have successfully conquered many challenges in their lives… (and I can vouch for it myself).

“When you focus on the things in your life for which you can feel grateful and happy, you will automatically empower yourself to be better, to do more and to have better outcomes.”

~ Tony Inman, ‘The Change Catalyst’

If you don’t believe me, just try it for one month. I now write mine in a journal and that’s another topic for another day, but do whichever works for you. Do please let me know how you go and do remember to have an awesome month, filled with gratitude and happiness.

Tony Inman listens, solves problems and provides answers!

Shawn Whitby

Shawn Whitby

Tony and I first met under water SCUBA Diving in 2003.

During the last 10 years I have known Tony In a business and personal manner and would highlight his ability to project calmness and clarity on any given situation.

Tony has managed and been involved in a varied array of business resulting in financial success.

Tony stands out from other professionals with his demonstrated ability to listen, problem solve and provide answers based on his life experience.

 

Shawn Whitby
Paramedic 
St John Ambulance

 

Tony Inman Cray Diving

Tony Inman

Tony’s Response:

Thanks Shawn. Your kind words are greatly appreciated and valued.
Cheers,
Tony
*Shawn was one of my diving instructors as he mentioned and is a shining example of a person who cares for others under duress and extreme circumstances. I have absolute admiration for anyone who can deal with life-threatening emergencies in a calm and professional manner. The amount of study involved in that profession too would deter many lesser people. Keep up the great work, Shawn 🙂

An Astute Coach and Mentor

Lune Lim, Director of Aspire Developments

Lune Lim, Director of Aspire Developments

“Tony is not only an astute coach and mentor, but possesses an exceptional ability to uncover the hidden issues underlying real problems.

His charisma and charm are tantamount to being a true leader, anyone who has a chance to experience working with Tony should grab it!”

 

Lune Lim

Director of Aspire Developments

 

 

Tony’s Thoughts:

“Thank you Lune. I am sincerely honored and flattered to receive such an accolade from someone who was achieved so much success so early in life.
For those who don’t know, Lune has published several magazines through the Aspire Media Group. In addition, he is the Strategic Executive Officer of the Shaye Paper Products company and is the Director of Aspire Developments, overseeing leading coaching and consultancy businesses, based in Sydney.
I was fortunate enough to work on several assignments with Lune in Sydney and Melbourne and I am delighted to be able to consider him as one of my friends and professional associates over there on the ‘Dark Side’ of Australia!”

“My Business Had Fallen Apart & My Private Life Was In Tatters…” – Kel Shipton, Perth WA

Kel Shipton

Kel Shipton – Owner of The Happy Herb Shop, Midland WA

‘I came across Tony just after January this year when my business had fallen apart and my private life was in tatters.

Fortunately, another friend put me in touch with Tony and it proved to be a Godsend.

He’s inspirational and the foresight that the guy gave me enabled me to push through what I was doing.

The fact that I’d got somebody there that has been through it all, that had walked the same path made a big difference and actually gave me the confidence to be able to push on, which I’ve done!

So thank you Tony.

Thanks for all your help and I’ll be dealing with you again one day in the future.

Cheers mate!’

Kel Shipton

Franchisee – The Happy Herb Shop, Midland

“He kept me focused on achieving the goals…” – Kym Chomley, Sunshine Coast, Queensland

Kym Chomley – Director at Wishlist – Sunshine Coast Health Foundation

“Tony Inman has been my life coach for the past 10 months while I have been redesigning my career, lifestyle and personal life.

During this time he has successfully kept me focused on achieving the goals that I established both at the outset of the coaching and also as additional goals were identified.

His support, ability to cut to the core issues and highlight areas that I have yet to recognise and address have been invaluable during this time. I am delighted with my continued development.

 

Kym Chomley -Catalyst for personal, business and global change

“He really cares about people…” – Halle Yilmaz, Melbourne, Victoria

image-withheld“You can have an open communication with Tony easily.

He really cares about people and he is committed to make a contribution to other people’s life and happiness.

He is a great life coach.”

 

Halle Yilmaz

Managing Director, HQ Business Consulting & HQ Financial Solutions, Melbourne

Good or Evil? Which One will Win?

Two_wolves_fighting

The two wolves are constantly fighting

There is an old Cherokee tale of a grandfather teaching life principles to his grandson.

The wise old Cherokee said, “Son, on the inside of every person the battle is raging between two wolves. One wolf is evil. It’s angry, jealous, unforgiving, proud, and lazy. The other wolf is good. It is filled with love, kindness, humility, and encouragement. These two wolves are constantly fighting.”

The little boy thought about it and said, “Grandfather, which wolf is going to win?”

The grandfather smiled and said, “Which ever one you feed.”

*****

Which wolf are you feeding in your mind?

Remember that even when you can’t always choose what happens to you in your life, only you can choose how you will react.

 

I just love the wisdom of esoteric tribal teachings. You should listen to what Grandpa’s have to say…

I know, because I’m now a Grandpa!

Have a great week 😛